How having – and being – a doula heals generational trauma

I dog-sit sometimes. It stands to reason if you can pay someone to dog-sit, you’re doing pretty well financially – not rich, but ya get ya bills paid. No matter how long I’m alive, I’m still struck by what middle class looks like. No matter how long I’m alive, I’m still struck by what seems the grandeur of a classic suburban home. Two bathrooms! Fancy!

Screen Shot 2019-04-02 at 5.24.21 PM

I don’t know about you, but I ate a lot of mac n’ cheese with hot dogs as a kid. My parents probably didn’t even know what the word organic meant. I shared a room with my two sisters almost my entire life.

Screen Shot 2019-04-02 at 5.24.59 PM

My mom didn’t see my sister for the first 3 hours of her life, along with other heavy doses of birth trauma. You see, poor women aren’t seen as deserving good care, let alone respect.

Screen Shot 2019-04-02 at 5.27.04 PM

As a doula now, I walk into spaces that remind me of my humble beginnings. Birth trauma is generational. I talk about the cascade event of interventions, what interventions exist, and how you can say no to something a doctor tells you. People who live at the poverty line aren’t used to having options, or exercising their voice in a medical setting. It’s a challenge, on top of all the standard ones already.

50216371106075c513cddc013b5fd5d0

Being a doula for under-resourced people heals a deep part of me. Giving women the educational, emotional, and physical support to begin their journey as parents in a positive way tips that power scale a little bit each time.

2a79aa8f41f7aeb197081698d09a288d

Next time at their pediatrician’s visit, they’ll know how to advocate for their kid effectively. Next time someone doubts their skills as a parent because of their income, they’ll know how to hold their head up. Next time they have a breastfeeding challenge, they’ll know where to find support. Next time they feel overwhelmed as a parent, they’ll know they aren’t alone, and they can reach out.

Next time, their child will have that empowerment before they give birth to their own child.

5b2569bcf1f0413bb79390b964ce4225

I can’t change my mom’s birth stories. But helping people change their generational narrative – that’s where healing is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s